Anyone who knows me even a tiny bit understands that "stretching myself thin" is typically just a part of how I function, especially at work. I don't get a lot of sleep, I take on a lot of extra projects, and don't very often say no when someone needs help.
But I've been really selfish lately. It's been all about ME; what makes ME happy, what I can handle, what makes ME feel good. MY job, MY friends, MY thrills. MY needs.
By the way, I would like to publicly state that my wife is a saint for putting up with me through all of this.
And really, I hope that my children are too young to remember this selfish season of my life, because I acknowledge that I have not been the best I can be for them, either.
Who is this girl?
I know it's all founded in a fear of losing a part of myself after December 10th. Will I feel incomplete? Will I have regrets? Will I ever feel desirable again?
Will I be strong enough to not fall into a deep, dark depression?
And in all of this selfish ME time, I don't seem to have any energy to give to others right now so I have been neglecting a lot of people who mean the world to me. Have I been a good friend? A good coworker? A good spouse, partner, and lover?
I've also been seriously evaluating the relationships in my life. I especially don't have time to put energy into relationships that I don't (totally selfishly) get anything out of. I know these feelings are temporary, but let's face it, we all have a few people in our lives that are probably adding unnecessary dead weight and strife. I just don't have time for nonsense right now.
I'm all about me, you know?
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