Pressing Pause

So the surgeon was right - just days after removing the tissue expanders and I feel human again. Now I just have some large incisions that are stinging and twitching and burning, but all of the aches and pains have gone away.  I even had those obnoxious mastectomy drains removed! My body feels so free without all of the tubes and extra 'equipment' hanging around. 

We've switched up the antibiotics a couple times to find what will best fend off infection I had developed with the expanders in.  As long as I follow through on treatment, I shouldn't have any more problems with that.  I also have ongoing iron infusions scheduled. I'm looking forward to an overall better health, and I know that it is on its way!

It's still challenging to look in the mirror and look at what's left of me. All I have is a little bit of loose skin, not even enough to fill an A cup. The incision scars are large and unsightly. It sometimes feels disheartening, but then I stop and remember the purpose. I won this battle! Cancer won't get me there! 

Reconstruction will wait. The surgeon says 6-9 months, but realistically I think life will push it to 12-18 months. With baby #3 arriving in the spring, I just don't see it being feasible to be down for too long. I had wanted to get my own stuff over with now, so I wouldn't have any problems snuggling the new baby. We didn't expect to have so many complications. Maybe next winter, or maybe even the summer after that. For now we can focus on getting the anemia under control so my body is strong enough for another series of procedures. I'm really not in a hurry, though. 

Thank you all again for the overwhelming support. We have truly appreciated the thoughts, prayers, messages, meals, childcare, and every other encouraging and supportive act. 

I need to take it easy for the rest of the week, but I fully anticipate being back at work next Monday. Pressing pause on this journey, and moving forward with life.